Why would you talk to someone at their convenience when they wouldnt speak to you when you needed them.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_2',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_3',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. What to say when your crush asks how you are? How do you think that I am doing? If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. I'm alive, whoa! You could reply with how you are doing and what has been keeping you busy lately. This one kills me! Steven Wright (comedian), "What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." There is no gray area (<brain matter joke): either you are brain-dead or you are not. I am doing a bit better than before, but not nearly as awesome as I am going to be. Unknown, "He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend . 2. 7. Dont wake me up yet. Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. At minding my own business? Better inside than outside. *licks lips*. Alexa's response: I'm sorry, Dave. Lets just say if I was a Pokmon, my ability would be Oblivious., Listen, that feeling we call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. 9. The best I can be. The police? 50. 27. Thats because Im like the last slice of pizza. 78. You don't need to say it. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual. Patrick Moore (astronomer), He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. HH Munro (author), My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldnt wish to meet. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Passed into the next room and told me to tell you go fuck yourself. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent Relationship. This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. If ugliness was measured in bricks, I would be the Great Wall of China. Not me, Im pretty depressed but thanks for asking. Everything is always better on payday right!? "You know I can do this anytime.". 25. 8 Funny Replies To "Hahaha" Text Better Responses What's your sign? I dont chase them just to satisfy my sexual desires. Your friends will expect you to say "fine" or "good," so shake things up by providing an unexpected answer. 53. The person who told you to be yourself gave you some bad advice. Things You Should Know about Birth Control Pills 62 Beautiful Makeup Inspos for Girls Who Are Not Afraid to Play with Color "Like an echo asking a shadow to dance on a mirage, this one is even funnier when an ugly person says, My friend always says "gooder". We found the best coronavirus memes about social distancing, toilet paper, homeschooling, as well as ways to spread a little more kindness. Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. If receiving a text from your ex elicits strong negative feelings, it is best not to respond. 22. Cant complainI have tried, but no one listens. Stellar, great, fantastic but dead inside. Youre worse. 39. Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. Thats why Im single. I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. Hello, how are you? Oof, gotta hide! "I am doing good, thank you" is basic, and you can do better than that! Hope this status quo persists for the rest of the day.". The person will likely pick up on the joke, making this awkward situation something that can be laughed off. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Dave Barry (author). 91. Use the opportunity to make a good impression. Im sorry I hurt your feelings. Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Funny Responses to "How Are You?" (& Other Questions!) - Science of People For some reason, some people think that not texting back is cool. Depends who you ask, if you ask me, it was fine. I'm alive! Not. More like give me a sign that you're still alive. *Siri activates front camera*. You are shocked by his/her response, and you respond angrily "but what about me?". Youre like Monday: no one likes you. Why not laugh about it and allow it to bring us closer together? 79. 60 of the Most Savage Responses People Received From Their Exes This was one of the quickest ways there was to send a message from one person to another. "It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.". Save the high-quality PDF version on your device now. I'm glad to know that you're alive.". Maybe because I like pineapples on my pizza? Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. However, the time it takes for a puppy to grow up is a lot longer than it should take for someone to reply to your message. Im too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine. 18. They were not expecting someone so wonderful to talk to them. Keep talking. Or, "Happy and content, thanks for asking. A truly stinging sarcastic response to I love you. "Hey You, I'm really good. It lets him know that you love spending time together. 37. Theres too much Ghostbusters texting potential to not take advantage of the pun-tastic opportunity. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. Its a shame you cant Photoshop your personality. Feeling confident? Looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have. While most of us answer with an uninspired I am fine, thank you, the universal greeting question how are you? 74. [*clap your hands*]. As anyone who knows anything about human biology will know, when a woman misses her period, that is a sign she is pregnant.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,100],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_13',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0'); Therefore, if she were to rely on your messages for her period, she would be pregnant by now. Often, we text some people when were at rock bottom, to try and get their help, or just have someone to talk to. Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Peace: What Does It Mean? 35 Auto Reply Text Message Ideas: Funny, Professional, Effective Chuck Bass? 92. 30. How to Respond to An Insult With Humor? 41+ Best Comebacks 13. I mean, no matter how amazing our lives are, there's always something to complain about. Pick your struggle. For your information, Im in a relationship with food. When you're mad, but don't want to ruin your impression, this is a nice way to reply to your crush or match. In reality, "How are you?" could be more than just a . It's definitely a better reply than the standard, "I'm fine.". As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty. Choose one of these responses to inject some life into your monotonous chats. 17. There are many other euphemisms you could use, though: Still ticking. Things could be worse I could be you (for siblings ). Alright so far, but there is plenty of time for things to get bad. No one loves superheroes. Well, Im married to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. 84. Impressive! And if they don't reply to this, you can walk the walk away. I and others have experienced, on several occasions, that your breath. Nice outfit. Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. Without your thumbs, its unlikely you will be able to text anyone. 3. 1. 10 Perfect, Sarcastic Responses To Annoying Humblebrags Let them know that you're itching to go on a date. 9. Do you like nature, despite what it did to you? Giving witty and interesting responses instead of the generic Im fine is often the smartest way to kickstart a nice conversation after the greeting How Are You?. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! funny response to are you still alive - claudiovoiceovers.com Maybe the reply is just taking a long time to come back. He sold it to me on his deathbed. On a scale of one to punching someone in the face, I am at 7.5. If youre not going to say anything nice, then dont say anything at all! You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. Happy, and I know it. Youll never be even half the man your mother is. 87. Elon Musk targets Sen. Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep I dont tell you how to live your life, dont tell me how to live mine thanks. One common excuse that people come up with when they take a while to reply is Im bad at replying. Here's one to use when you're having a spectacular day. Checklists & Reminders! In fact, they're taking too much of it. Socrates (philosopher), "The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." 93. Single is the new blackif that even makes sense! 100. [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. Is that a scar on your face? document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Funny Responses to Everyday Questions. OK, so now at least you should have some idea of how to respond if your ex texts you out of the blue. You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! It is a humorous way of saying they have not heard from you in a while. Id love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. I'm wondering how you are. 20. There is not always a need to be so funny, witty, or clever. [Read: How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts]. I could never tell when someones flirting with me or if theyre just being nice. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Real may recognize real, but real also recognizes thoughtless people who don't deserve your time. Spiritually? Everyone wants me, but no one dares! No, waitIm actually plural. Learn more about us here. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. Youre about as sharp as a bowling ball. What Is A Micro Wedding And How To Plan It? Be grateful if it happens in that order. David Gerrold (author), Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt. WS Gilbert (dramatist), I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. Because apparently, you need to go outside and talk to people to date. 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. Looking for funny responses to everyday questions? This is a good response to throw out there. For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. Heart-shattering. Oh, stop it, will you? Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on January 20, 2020: Shing Araya from Philippines on January 08, 2020: All are witty and funny at the same time. Like for your friends and close ones, here are some witty responses and replies to make them laugh, because they know exactly how you're doing and ask you as par of formality. Are you going to marry me? If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Surveys show that divorce rates are nonexistent among single people. I have found that people in a coma find it very difficult to hold a phone, turn it on, look at their messages, think of a reply, and then type out their reply. Life is up to something. Suppose you're about to join a group when they stop by and ask if you want to join. 2. On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say somewhere between 1 and 10. Living a life of suppressed rage, emotional imbalance, and denial. Steven Wright (comedian). 24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies Thatll Make You Smile, Is My Boss a Narcissist Quiz (10 Questions to Help You Find Out!). The Funniest Replies for People Who Are Always Asked "Are You Okay?" Youre totally on the same page. The only thing offending me right now is your face. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]. These comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. But, because they have taken so long to reply, you have grown older and wiser. I've Been Thinking About You Too They might not be with you right now, but they will always be on your mind. To contact our editors please use our contact form. Canva. "Any day above ground is a good day. If you've ever worked in an office, used municipal buildings or lived in a city, chances are, you already know what public notices are bland, dull, usually complaining and rarely funny posters that tell us somewhat useful information about all kinds of things. Thats no excuse for treating someone like they dont exist, especially since 85% of participants said theyd rather be told upfront that someones not feeling it. "Fine" is a boring conversation-killer. Your lips are moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah.. 99. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? Truth is, we all have ugly experiences with our past lovers. Maybe you said something so vile, so horrible, so disgusting that they no longer want to speak to you. 3. 2. This answer is correct because the best responses to "how are you" should contain an adverb. Moving in with Roommates? Your hair looks great! Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? Hopefully, youll stay there. 28. Your email address will not be published. Not so much. Sort of. Talk is cheapbut then again, so are you. [deleted] 5 yr. ago. She is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner from The Priority Academy and has over 17 years of experience in content writing and editing for online media. Reply. In such a case, if you are unavailable to communicate with new clients right away, you can use auto responses instead. is willie rogers of the soul stirrers still alive; cal berkeley football recruiting questionnaire; american housewife cancelled. On Mars, cell phone reception might not be too good. Image: wikimedia commons 6. Aeldrion 5 yr. ago. Despite not being the most popular topic of conversation, the concept of death has inspired quite a few clever and insightful sayings over the years. Trying to understand the meaning of life or the universe at least. Just look what happened there! The Nine Canonical Responses to 'U Mad,' the - Intelligencer 100+ Funny Things to Ask Alexa (with its Hilarious Responses) - ITTVIS Perhaps you said something as egregious as Hey. Another common excuse that younger people tend to give when they take a long time to reply is Ive been busy with uni. 73. conservation international ceo; little debbie peanut butter creme pies discontinued. Nice and dandy, like cotton candy. No, not really. 56. 11. If you want me to accept you as you are, Im going to have to lie to myself about liking you. 51 Funny and Flirty Responses to "How Are You" Texts Try a Humorous Reply when Someone Asks "How Are You?" - All Women's Talk Financially? You enjoy making this girl smile and make her day with your humor. "I'll get back to you once I'm back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.". If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. I favour the "How am I what?" [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. Do you have a minute? My bad, its just your mouth. Comeback for "oh you still alive".. : Comebacks - reddit It might seem like a joke, but this is what I think. (Use a sexy tone). I just woke up like that one day. What if questions can help you form connections fast, but you don't want to rush or force it. ", This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. Im still waiting for my Superman/Wonder Woman. A romantic relationship would severely impair my crime-fighting order of business. Then the worms eat you. With a self-assured stance and casual body language, you won't create any . Sometimes, it can be hard thinking on your feet, especially when youre joking around with your friends or in the midst of a heated exchange. How did you get here? A real low-life. Alive Jokes. When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. I was doing great, before you came. Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. Its no secret that essays take longer to write than typical text messages. I dont know. Funny Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! Id punch you in the face, but the thought of touching your face disgusts me. If you like me, send them while Im alive. Brian Clough (football team manager), I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. Clarence Darrow (lawyer), Millions long for immortality who dont know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Susan Ertz (author), In this world, nothing can be certain, except death and taxes. Benjamin Franklin (inventor), Life is hard. Wondering How You Are 1 I'm Better on the inside than I Look on the outside This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. How impressive! Well, are you? Share the best GIFs now >>> I used to think you were a pain in the neck. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual." Good luck feel free to drop me a comment below if you have any funny responses I should add to the list, and do let me know if you get any memorable responses back. Don't Push It Too Far. It could be raining men, and Id still be single. Thats the biggest joke Ive heard recently. Use sarcasm to let them know that you do not approve. Usually, people live and learn. "Ugh I was so lazy this week. Thinking of you not existing makes me want to masturbate. *wink*. You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. Let's face itat my age, I'm very pleased to be anywhere." George Burns (comedian) "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Joshua Burns. I Don't Miss, I Kiss A sweet bit of poetry that sounds super romantic. 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), 31+ Good Comebacks to Use in an Argument With a Girl, Roommate Is Always in Living Room (How To Resolve This), Roommate Brings Unwanted Guests Home! I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life. Not even the fussiest, or clingiest person in the world would expect a dead person to reply to them. Your secrets are always safe with me. How do you want me to be? I had promised myself I would murder the next person who asked me that question. You grow on peoplebut then again, so does cancer. No one will expect to hear it, so you'll be catching your friends off guard. Sarcastic Captions for Instagram. - Anonymous. It takes a specific kind of person to ghost someone its really not that hard to send a quick Im not interested text but rest assured, they exist. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the. original sound - Tyren Sams. (What To Do), Why Do I Feel like a Roommate in My Marriage? 57. 54. Mentally? Dear family and friends of Arthur Dayn, As we enter into an unprecedented dark age with the invisible enemy known as COVID-19, the life of our dear friend Arthur Dayn ends. Norman Wisdom (comedian), "I have lost friends, some by death, others through their sheer inability to cross the street." 5. You should eat some of that makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside. Theres this one time when a cute guy/gal asked me if I have a boyfriend/girlfriend and I said yes because I didnt hear the question. Want to equip yourself with more responses? You know when you go to meet some friends, or friends of your friends, or to a party or whatever, when you meet someone new, at some point people ask you: "SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?" And what I wanted to do in this thread is list the craziest answers that you can give, you know, shock people or create an extremely awkard moment. . New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Whatever your thoughts on death may be, I hope you enjoy these random humorous quotes about mortality, death, and dying. Do you have a minute? is perfect for lunch-time banter with colleagues. So perhaps the issue is not that they are taking a long time to reply. The answer is simple. But, whats the likelihood of that happening? Let's grab a drink" 3) "Hey, how was that [insert something specific she mentioned when you met her]?" 4) "You can stop worrying about me I made it home safely last night" Click here for additional information. Today, well look at 30 ways you can respond to a late message or reply. My favorites were: "I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my toenails." "I'd rather be in hell with both arms cut off." He was an angry, creative man. How to answer when someone asks me, "Are you still alive - Quora Are You Still Alive GIFs | Tenor Funny as phuck. If you are, then maybe were meant to be! If they insist that they are bad at replying, you should unfollow them, because you are bad at following people who are bad at replying. 16. Don Draper? When you look at what some people have done for each other and compare it to what you expect. Voice command: Alexa, define rock paper scissors lizard Spock. My only talent is not being in a relationship. 70. "Alright. I hate to break it to you, but Im not single. Its too small to be out there all alone. However, I dont recall anything about morons. 83. Being single is much better than being married. Do you really care? If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. The friendly ghost would never leave you hanging. Because Jamaican me crazy! If your crush asks you how you are, you might as well be honest. If you're going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. Here are 55 funny coronavirus memes that will make you LOL. If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. I plead the fifth. (Say it like he or. Does the new one work any better? Because Ive been waiting for you all my life. Some people are going to find your witty responses funny, and some people arent. Read about the differences between burning alive, staying alive and being dead or alive as we explore the many ways of keeping ourselves in the land of the living. Im quite certain that Im single because I didnt forward those chain messages stating: forward this to 10 people and you will meet the love of your life in 10 days, or else you suffer bad luck in the past. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping." Plotting how Im going to take over the world. You a cop? provided, of course, that he really is dead." Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. . 94. 1. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?". If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. WHAT DID THEY SAY?? 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. It's all about confidence. Hopefully, not as good as I will ever be. 81. I dont feel that great, but look! I only went to the gym four times instead of my usual five." Sarcastic response: "Yeah totally. 2. 29. Whats with all these questions?
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